CRB: Crap Rubbish Bollocks

Its been a long time since I wrote here, so this won't, sadly, be telling anyone everything thats happened. I should be more prudent in keeping it up-to-date, but I should be doing that with my homework too and I haven't been doing that, either, so with rough comes smooth.
Actually, I might as well just write a smidge about what's going on in college right now. And that's the fact I'm low on the list of priorities for the tutors, to put it mildly. Partially due to having not worked towards a group assignment (thus "forcing" my only work partner do all the work), and not handing in much coursework (dammit! The intention was always there, but...I know me), the fact I hadn't done my CRB check before starting placement was a huge no-no, and a stunt that could've got me kicked off the course.
Lemme try and explain (mainly to myself so I know what I'm talking about). You're supposed to do a CRB check (that's criminal record...something check) before you start working with or around children. This I knew. But I also knew that time was of the essence. It was made clear to me in my first telling-off that If I didnt get my placement and start on November 5th, everything else was moot and it'd be worth nothing. So, I scrambled. I called my best mate's mom, who works in my old school, and with my name mentioned , it was sorted, and I was accepted in. No-one asked about a CRB. I was accepted because they knew me, and that's it. Excellent, right?
Wrong, of course...I got through my first day on placement fine. The teacher I'm put with is a real peach. Younger than me. Perfect body. Let's just say if I was a schoolkid in her class, she would definetly be my first crush. The kids in the class are 10, so they've gotta be feelin somethin. I know for a fact I was spending most of my time observing her and not really paying attention. Oops.
Anyway, things were looking great til I made an offhand comment in front of the teacher that my CRB hadn't been done. I should've made it out like it hadn't come back to me (it can take 6-10 weeks for that) and it was being processed. But I didn't. Big can of worms opens.
They immediately pull me out of placement, and refuse to let me go back until I show them the CRB is done. That causes problems, because the prototype I'd written up is actually complete (though I don't know the tutors don't know that). So I come in on my day off (thursday, since I'm not going on placement) to see the other tutor to get it sorted. She tells me she's too busy, so sends me to someone else, who is fortunately both extremely helpful and extremely nice about it. She explains everything, and the next day, I bring in all the proper documentation. Easy! I send it off, and I should be in placement the next week, right?
Wrong.
I'm told on wednesday that I can't go in til the school sends the college written proof that they will let me in the school as long as a CRB is pending. This is something they could've told me earlier in the week, and I could've had that prepared to hand in. So I send the school an email to send the college an email, and I'm supposed to get an email to tell me I can go in.
Except I send it, and I don't know whats happened next. Did the school get it? I should've phoned to find out, but it's too late now (being 3.30am) and so I'll get a day off tomorrow that I actually DON'T want (I want to go in to see that teacher, who may have had someone else put into her class by the time I return), and most likely, considering the attitude of my teachers recently, I'll find out the college said "ok then!" to the school and I was supposed to get in contact with the college to find out if the school had got my mail.
Confusing, and very, very annoying. Telling me off for not doing anything while also holding me back from doing something? Ironic. I appreciate irony, but in this case, I don't like it